Love Yourself First This Valentine's Day
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, you may be wondering, “what outfit should I wear on my date?” or “what chocolate assortment should I buy myself?” But for many, the major question is “who will be my valentine?”
Whether you’re in a happy relationship, ‘it’s complicated’ or you’re single, don’t wait to be asked if you will be someone’s valentine; instead, be your own. Treat yourself to everything YOU love on the day of love, and if you don’t know what those things are, there’s no better time to learn.
Loving yourself is not something that comes easy to most people — it is a process. As Hara Estroff Marano says in her Psychology Today article, “Self-love doesn't happen by luck or the grace of God. You have to create it.” There are many ways to learn about yourself, grow yourself and love yourself. These ways differ for everyone, but in the end, we can all love ourselves a little more.
The first step to loving yourself is to take better care of yourself and your well-being. There are many ways to go about this, from small life adjustments to vacations just for yourself. With our busy schedules, self-care could get pushed to the background, but it should be at the forefront of our lives. In the article “Self-Care: 12 Ways to Take Better Care of Yourself,” by Tchiki Davis, Ph.D., self-care could start as making adjustments to your sleep schedule, eating healthier foods to make sure your body is nourished, or exercising to release endorphins. For instance, make sure you’re allowing yourself a full eight hours of sleep every night, unbothered by caffeine or sugar, because sleep is important to reenergizing your body and lowering stress levels. Adding a healthier diet and exercise to this routine is a natural way to feel more energized, have a better self-image and take care of yourself.
Self-care isn’t limited to your sleep schedule, diet or exercise. It can be comprised of activities that bring more peace into your life, such as taking an extra 30 minutes every day to either watch a movie with your favorite candle lit, clean your room and make your bed, or meditate through yoga, stretching, etc. Whichever way you choose to care for your well-being, self-care goes a long way on the road to loving you.
After developing a self-care routine, it is easier to get to know yourself. This is part of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, which shows that your basic needs must be met before you can develop love and relationships with others or yourself. As it goes, you typically can not love a person until you’ve taken the time to get to know them, so make sure you date yourself and familiarize yourself with your interests, hobbies, and talents. According to Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S., of PsychCentral, journaling is key to getting to know yourself. There are many self-reflecting prompts to choose from. By allowing yourself the time to write out your thoughts and feelings, a person learns so much about themselves.
Furthermore, learn more about your hobbies by trying different things. Think outside the box and maybe take a cooking class if you don’t consider it to be your forte, or a yoga class if staying active is something you struggle with. You will never know what piques your interest unless you take the time to explore.
Lastly, love yourself. Love is a strong word, and loving oneself is a particularly difficult thing to accomplish, but by putting in work, it is something everyone is capable of. We live in a world where people think of themselves in terms of how “perfect” they are in society, and the sheer truth is that no one is perfect. In Ana Sandoiu’s article, “Why self-love is important and how to cultivate it,” she touches on perfectionism. According to her, perfectionism is dangerous and keeps us all from fully loving ourselves. Think about all your imperfections, and learn to love yourself more for them. Loving yourself for who you are, what you enjoy, and what you’ve done and still will accomplish is so important to living a happy life.
This Valentine’s Day, treat yourself to an outfit you feel confident in, get yourself ready in whichever ways that may be, such as doing your hair and makeup, or taking a warm bubble bath, and putting on your new favorite outfit, and take yourself out to get a nice dinner or drinks, or take a walk through the park, the city, or more. Loving yourself is not something you can achieve and stop working towards; it is a relationship, so you should never stop dating and getting to know yourself.
Of course, Valentine’s day is the day of love, whether that be for yourself, a significant other or your box of chocolates, but loving yourself doesn’t just have to be limited to one day a year. So this valentines day, learn more about yourself, care for yourself and love yourself, but don’t forget to carry that into every other day of the year. Love yourself today, tomorrow, and 3 months from now, just remember to make that self-love extra special on Feb. 14.